welcome home.

“It always comes as a surprise when I feel my withered roots begin to grow.”

A few weeks ago, I wrote these words that even then I did not truly believe or understand: ‘I am becoming more and more convinced that this search for God, for justice, for vocation is really just a search for home – a place where each of us can feel just rooted enough to stand firm through the storms of life.’

When I wrote those words, I was really trying to justify my recent choices to myself. To explain a decision that I was still convincing myself was the best option in response to my situation. I wrote those words to reassure the people with whom I was sharing that I wasn’t just running back to a comfortable place to settle back in to a passive existence.

And now, later, I am brought back to those words – and I begin to believe that they are true.

No place is perfect. No place will satisfy me forever. But for now, being here is right. Soon enough, I will embark on another adventure. The pendulum will swing back towards wanderlust and exploration. Eventually, maybe, I will settle into the perfect combination of challenge and stability.

For now though, it is okay to live with questions. Not just okay – living in tension and questions -  being grounded enough to live an examined life – is the goal.